I feel like I often witness a special type of conversation. It’s sort of a verbal version of a tough guy saying, “If he wants to fight, I’ll kill him.” There’s this odd phenomenon where some people think that
- They can hide their intentions so well that other people can’t ‘read’ them, an…
- They can beat anyone in a verbal confrontation
Not everyone like this could possibly be so verbally tough. I’ll call the below, “An Open Letter to the Delusional Verbal Tough Guy.” I’m a firm believer in taking personal responsibility for how we communicate with each other. So here is my musing…
What the heck did you just say? Do you care? You know full well how much you can influence people when you use harsh words, but you didn’t really just use harsh words, did you? Or did you?
You said something “in jest” or “said with love” or “just kidding around” or something you that think other people should just grow a thicker skin to handle. Do you think that people are always ready for underhanded comments, or should be? Wouldn’t that be nice for you if you could just speak whatever was on you mind – without filters.
But part of you knows that people’s tolerance isn’t as high as you claim it should be when making fun. You justify it when you talk to your friends and say, “She’s just a bitch.” You make yourself temporarily feel better when you tell others to, “grow a pair,” or to, “lighten up,” or, “don’t take things so seriously.”
Somehow that is the way people ought to be in your world. But again, you know that they aren’t – and that’s what makes it fun for you.
Except when you really think about it; those few times now when you think about the impact of your words.
Think about it.
What do you go around saying haphazardly? What do you blurt out unskillfully? What slick insults do you skillfully communicate? Why is it that you can’t just (you can) pick other words? If you are such a master of the language and can stick it to them each time, why not just pick other words? Our language is vast and rich. You’ve taken pride in the past of how…
“If he wants to go there, I’ll go there. I’ll leave him in tears.”
“If she wants to get into a battle of words, I’ll battle. She’ll regret it.”
Haven’t you thought those things? I’ve heard you, or someone has, brag about your skill with words.
So then, speak skillfully. Try it. Do it. You’re not on television right now, you don’t have to try to be right over being truthful. Be honest. Use compassion. Better yet, while you’re learning more about compassion, and we all need to, be kind.
Be kind. Use your words well. Speak skillfully.