There are a great many ways that I work with clients. Whether I’m working in small groups or one-on-one, I always get to know my clients so well that I can personalize my coaching and hypnosis sessions.
Even when I do that, there is a solution framework theme that I like to teach to clients when they’re practicing success techniques, self-hypnosis, and group coaching.
Below is a framework that I think you will find useful.
You need to clearly define your goals prior to jumping into a big task. Figure out right now what success will actually look like to you.
If you don’t get clear about what success truly is, you run the risk of not knowing when you’ve succeeded or when you need to change your strategy in order to succeed.
Find your focus. Let’s get real here. When you’re hoping to be the next big Internet guru, affiliate marketer, Tony Robbins, or Steve Jobs, it would be wonderful to wake up tomorrow suddenly successful, right? - Like taking the right colored pill in that Matrix movie, it would be great to just wake up seeing life the way it is and then hook yourself up to some device where one minute later you open your eyes exclaiming, “I know kung fu!”
But in your sober moments you know that it IS possible to be the next Steve Jobs, but you’ll need to set out on the road of finding all the smaller successes on your way to world domination.
Focus is truly a gift you can give to yourself. So what do I mean and what are the benefits?
Be as specific as you can. What do you really want? If you say to me, “lots of money.” I’d say, “Me too.” But that just isn’t clearly defined. Getting clear would be more like this,
I want to double my income in the next 18 months by working hard on this Internet side-project until it starts making money for me with the following 3, 6, and 12 month milestones. They are…
Get it? The more clear the goal is, the more doable it will seem. The more doable it seems, the more likely you are to engineer all the right steps you’ll need to take to accomplish your task. And the more you do that, the more you’ll succeed at step 2, which is…
Being flexible in your approach and doing your research, followed by decisive action is a big deal. Evolve is multi-faceted.
First, evolve means taking yourself from the lack of knowledge of how to accomplish something to having tons of knowledge. Learning and getting creative. Being logical and artistic. After getting focused, taking a scientific approach to what your next steps will be is very important. This is where you make your plans in meaningful ways.
Second, take action. You need to test your knowledge in ways that further your goals. Do stuff and make stuff happen. It doesn’t matter how large or small your action is, the point is to do stuff and create momentum. Trial and error also feed the previous step of learning, which leads to…
Third, adapt and improvise. As internal and external challenges arise, you will learn and take action. You will become adept at improvisation and you will get better and better at making quick decisions. You will look and feel like a leader. Mistakes truly become learning experiences and your actions yield more successful results.
Having gotten your goals clear and taken a dynamic approach to getting what you want, you might find that rewarding yourself for even the tiniest successes is a good thing. Further, you’ll find that you have new goals to accomplish, so just being on the path to successes is the very goal itself.
Reward reward reward. It’s easy to feel defeated before you even realize that you’ve achieved successes. You might have a dozen small things to feel grateful for, but if you haven’t yet made that fortune, or opened that business, or whatever your goal may be, you could feel deflated. So, reward yourself for even the tiniest successes.
Tip for Focus when you’re in a tight spot.
Imagine a time when you’ve felt absolutely confident.
Occasionally someone will tell me at this point, “I’ve never felt confident in my life.” Usually when I then ask, “Are you sure about that? You’ve never felt confident in your life?” they respond, “I’m positive.” So if you’re one of those people, I’d like you to feel confident that you’ve never felt confident. Now back to business…
I’d like you to imagine a time when you’ve felt absolutely confident. Take a few moments to really pick a memory (or the present moment) when you’ve felt confident. Got it? You might also feel “in charge” or “grounded.”
What is your physical posture like in this memory? Your breathing? Go ahead now and adopt that posture, breathing, and allow yourself to embody that idea… that you are confident, grounded and sure.
As you remember that confident time, and feel the breathing, moving into the posture, notice what happens to your mindset. Some other people might try to resist feeling confident to make a point to those around them, but not you – no need to resist, you’re doing this on purpose, allowing yourself to become more and more in command of the present moment.
What is that like to be confident? We all have experiences of confidence. Some people have been managers in charge of employees, or parents who know what’s best for their kids Or children who know more than their parents.
Confidence abounds, does it not? You could be driving a car on a route you always travel and you are confident about getting there. You have made decisions and are sticking to them.
How many examples of confidence, grounded and in charge can you think of? It’s worthwhile to take some time to daydream right here and now.
Great. You’ve found those memories of confidence. Observe again your posture in that memory. Adopt that now.
How was your breathing different? Even tiny differences. Breathe that way now.
What words did you say to yourself? Use that in-command language to yourself now.
And as you continue to breathe, remember that it’s not important to immediately feel 100% confident, but allow it it develop over a short time. And as you allow it to become a part of you again. Enjoy noticing the larger changes that accompany even the tiniest changes.